Garrus Drabbles
by Lady Sorcha
Summary: Trying something new a 100 Themes challenge. So these will be short drabbles about Garrus and Shepard.
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

Really Saren was responsible for their introduction. The Council refused to believe them, but the two of them knew. Now they just needed proof.

The next time she saw him he was defending a doctor. He pulled off a perfect headshot, dropping the thug. Then they sprang into action to defeat the rest. It was the first time they saw each other in action.

She was impressed with his accuracy and grace. He was impressed with her speed and strength.

When she was made Spectre, he joined her. Chasing Saren brought them together.

That's one good thing he did.


	2. Complicated

**Complicated**

Complicated can be used to describe explaining their relationship to others. Explaining how on earth a Turian and Human fell in love.

But complicated can't describe them.

Sure at first it was a little awkward, figuring out how to fit together.

After they found their groove it was simple. They fit as if they were made for each other. Rough skin against smooth. Her small hand curled in his large one.

When she had to leave Earth it was complicated. How could she leave when her home was burning? Then she thought of him, out there waiting for her somewhere. That made it easier. Simple almost.


	3. Making History

**Making History**

He looks at her, his head tilted to the side.

"You make history, you always will."

She looks up from her data pad and blinks at him. A quizzical expression plays across her face.

"You were the first human Spectre. You died and came back. You've lead teams against impossible odds and won. Now here we are…everyone looking to you to do the impossible. Again."

She sighs and he pulls her to him. She sits the data pad down and lets him hold her. Taking comfort in his strong arms wrapped around her.

"I never wanted to make history. Or have the fate of the galaxy in my hands I'm only human and they expect so much from me." She meets his eyes. "Though if I didn't make history, I wouldn't have met you."

She kisses his scarred cheek and he rests his forehead against hers.

He holds her for hours. Determined to give her some shelter form the storm.


	4. Rivalry

**Rivalry**

"Eight."

"Six. Wait now seven."

They pause for a moment and listen as the sounds of fighting fade away. His mandibles twitch with a smile. She jumps up with a grin and throws her arms triumphantly in the air.

"I won."

He stands and walks over to her. She sticks her tongue out at him and he laughs. Then calmly raises his gun and drops two Husks that are stumbling around the corner.

She looks over her shoulder at the dead Husks with a scowl.

"Looks like that brings me to nine. So I win. You shouldn't…wait what's that human expression… you shouldn't have counted your chickens before they hatched."

"Damn. So what do I have to do?"

"Do you still have those handcuffs?"

She raises an eyebrow as she replies. "Yes, but they didn't fit you."

"They're not for me," he whispers in her ear.

She feels the rumble in chest and shivers.


	5. Unbreakable

**Unbreakable**

When Shepard died he could scarcely believe it. They thought she was dead after the fight with Saren, but she had limped down the pile of rubble with a smile on her face. After she was spaced he kept waiting for her to come back, like she did before. Waiting for her to walk up to him with that smile on her face.

They told him he was in denial.

Now here she is tearing across the bridge. He doesn't question the logic of it. He only knows it has to be her, because no one else can move like she can.

They clear the bridge and Archangel speaks to them. She thinks she recognizes his voice, but barely has time to think before they're forced back into combat. She catches a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye and she knows it's him. No one can handle a sniper rifle like him.

When Archangel takes his helmet off, he becomes Garrus. She stops herself from tackling him with a hug and her arms fall back to her sides. When they have to split up, she leaves Miranda with him. Though she wishes she could stay herself.

When he's hit she waits for him to stand up. To jump back into battle with a growl, but he doesn't he lies there.

After the battle she rushes to his side, she thinks he's dead and fights back a cry. When she hears the gurgle of blood in his throat, her heart leaps. She gives him his gun as she radios Joker.

While they wait she talks to him. Trying to keep his mind off the pain. Trying to keep him conscious. She tries to stop him from talking, but he won't be dissuaded. She leans closer to hear his pained whispers.

"Knew…you…were…unbreakable…"

She smiles at him as she fights back tears, so she can remain unbreakable for him.

"You have to be unbreakable too. I can't save the galaxy without you."

His mandibles twitch with a ghost of a smile.


	6. Obsession

**Obsession**

She enters her cabin and smiles when she sees him sitting on the couch. He sits aside his datapad and she straddles his lap. When she leans in for a kiss he sneezes, his entire body jerking. She giggles as he shakes his head.

"What is that smell?"

"Traynor gave me some perfume. It's called Obsession."

"What's-" he sneezes "perfume for?"

"It's supposed to make you smell nice. Sexy even," she says with a waggle of her eyebrows.

He chuckles and sneezes again.

"Should I wash it off?"

"Please."

"I might need some help." She stands and pulls her shirt off and tosses it in his face.

He sneezes repeatedly and she runs into the bathroom laughing. He throws her shirt onto the bed and follows her.

"Oh you'll pay for that." He growls as he pulls off his shirt and it joins hers on the bed.


	7. Eternity

**The italicized part is from the song "From Here to Eternity" by Frank Sinatra. **

* * *

**Eternity**

He sits in a dark corner of the bar, trying to remain unnoticed. Trying to drown his sorrows, it's almost working. A little more and he won't be able to think. If he can't think he can't think about the pain. Then a song plays…

_You vowed your love_

_From here to eternity_

_A love so true,_

_It never would die_

He drops his head into his hands.

_You gave your lips_

_Gave them so willingly_

_How could I know_

_Your kiss meant goodbye?_

**She walks up to him and kisses him before he can say anything. She pulls away and he rests his forehead on hers. They don't say anything, knowing there's nothing they can say. In this moment I love you doesn't seem adequate… **

**He's thrown back by the blast. He comes to and looks for her. She's struggling to her feet, almost close enough to touch. He reaches for her, but she's too far. She sees him and smiles. Her eyes swim with tears. **

**"I have to do this," she whispers.**

**She makes her way across the battlefield. He whispers her name as he tries to clamber to his feet. Then she reaches the beam and with a flash she's gone. He falls to his knees. **

_Now I'm alone_

_With only a memory_

_My empty arms_

_Will never know why..._

"Why Alyssa? I would have followed you anywhere."

He gets to his feet and presses a hand to the wall to steady himself. Then he weaves through the crowd and leaves.

The night air sobers him. "Damn," he mutters.

_Though you are gone_

_This love that you left with me_

_Will live from here to eternity._

The music follows him into the night, causing wounds to bleed. Wounds from now and from before. Twice he's lost her. The only thing that healed him was her return.

He doesn't expect a miracle twice. No this time he doesn't think they'll ever heal.

_Now I'm alone_

_With only a memory_

_My empty arms_

_Will never know why..._

He doesn't know where to go. He can't go back to the Normandy. He doesn't even have a room he had stayed with her. Their room. Their bed. Their memories. Their lives all wrapped up in the ship. Now it's just him. Just him to carry on.

_Though you are gone_

_This love that you left with me_

_will live..._

_From here to eternity._

"We talked of eternity and it didn't seem like enough. Now it seems like it will never end."

* * *

**Now I'm depressed. **

**I'm sorry Garrus.  
**


	8. Gateway

**Gateway**

He paces outside her door. A bottle of wine clutched in his talons. He wants nothing more than to go in and have something go right for a change. To find that little piece of happiness. He knows this is a gateway.

She has him enthralled and turning this into something real… He's all or nothing, always has been. If he goes in now he'll never leave. That's what scares him. He knows what it's like to lose her. To live in a galaxy that doesn't have her. She already means more to him than he could have imagined possible. He knows crossing into this uncharted territory will only intensify these feelings. He can't imagine what it will be like if he loses her then…

Isn't that why he should go in? To…what does she say…carpe diem, seize the day. Their lives are dangerous, always have been and always will be. If he wants that piece of happiness he shouldn't let fear stop him. That fear should drive him. He should seize every opportunity he has with her.

He takes a deep breath and opens the door. Their eyes meet and she smiles at him. Her smile chases away everything else. In that moment he knows this is it. He crosses the gateway, knowing nothing will ever feel as right as this.

"I brought wine."

The door slides shut behind him. Closing them into to their own little piece of happiness.


	9. Death

**Death**

She thrashes in her sleep, mumbling incoherently. He watches her knowing if he wakes her form the nightmare things will be worse. If he wakes her now her now she'll panic and look around the room with wide unseeing eyes. She'll still be halfway in her dream and won't know where she is.

_Dr. Chakwas said it's a mild form of PTSD. When he asked about it she told him people who have experienced trauma sometimes develop it. It's common among soldiers. They leave it unspoken between them that Shepard has suffered enough trauma for multiple people. Chakwas will never say it, but it's really nothing short of a miracle that Shepard functions as well as does._

The nightmares aren't as frequent anymore, but the intensity has never faded. He sighs and shifts into a more comfortable position. He hates waiting for her to wake and allowing her to suffer.

_But she told him she'd rather finish the dreams, that in some strange way she keeps waiting for them to change. That maybe in her dreams she can accomplish what she couldn't in reality. _

Her hand reaches out grasping at something he can't see. She strains toward it mumbling in a soothing voice. She cries out and her hand falls back to the bed clenched in a fist. She shivers.

He gently lays the covers over her body. She curls up and hugs them to her, still mumbling in pained whispers.

He takes a breath as anger courses through him. She should at least be able to find peace in her sleep. She has enough to deal with while she's awake, it's not right that things should follow her into her dreams.

_He asked her once what she dreamed about and she told him there were three. She dreams of Ashley, having to leave her friend to die so she could save the greatest number. She dreams of being spaced, knowing complete darkness and loneliness floating among the stars. She dreams of him being shot, reliving the pain, terror, and uncertainty that he would ever wake. She dreams of death. _

She bolts upright with a gasp, her eyes wide and unseeing. Her fingers clench and unclench in the sheets. Her shuddered breaths come rapidly, shaking her entire body. She blinks and her body slowly relaxes. She looks around and sees him.

"Garrus," she whispers.

He pulls her to him and brushes her sweaty hair back from her face. Once again he wraps the sheet around her shivering body.

She reacts to each nightmare differently and he hasn't seen these reactions before. He can tell it's a new one. It fills him with pain to know there's not really anything he can do. To know he can't fight the nightmares like he would any other enemy. He can't shoot them, there's nothing he can do to stop them from hurting her. Now there's a new one. Something else he can't stop from haunting her.

"What happened?" He asks.

"Back on Earth, before the attack I was looking out the window. There was boy playing with a model ship. He seemed so happy. After the attack I saw him again. Anderson and I were trying to get to the Normandy. I heard something and I found him hiding in an air vent. He wouldn't come to me. He said I couldn't help him. Anderson said we had to go and when I looked back he was gone. I saw him again after I was on the Normandy. He made it onto a shuttle. I watched as it exploded. I watched from safety as he died. He was right I couldn't help him. Garrus…"

She chokes on a sob and swallows. He pulls her closer, running his hand up and down her arm. He kisses her shoulder. She leans into him taking, taking his free hand before continuing.

"He's in my dreams now. We're in the woods, it's all blacks and grays. He's dressed in white and it's like he's glowing. He laughs and runs from me, the model ship in his hand. I chase him. When I reach him I stretch my hand towards him and he bursts in flames. Then I wake."

She feels helpless. He knows that feeling all too well. Knowing there's nothing really that you can do or could have done. All the while desperately wishing there is.


	10. Opportunities

**Opportunities**

He nervously fidgets in the elevator. Today he's taking her to the top of the Presidium. Today he will ask if she's ready to be a one Turian kind of woman. Today he will finally tell her these words that have been bubbling up inside of him, practically since he first saw her. Yes today he will tell Shepard…his Alyssa that he loves her.

The elevator dings and he takes a breath, straightening the shirt of his civvies. He wonders if she'll realize the meaning behind this gesture. That he specifically chose to wear civvies to tell her this. That he's leaving himself exposed to her. That he trusts her explicitly.

He steps off the elevator and looks at her. He will do this just the way he planned, though there are more people on the Bridge than he thought there'd be after she gave shore leave. He walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her. She squeaks and swings her arm back.

He dodges and laughs, "Easy Shepard it's just me."

She shifts and looks at him. Her eyes widen slightly when she asks, "Why are you wearing civvies? I thought they made you feel vulnerable?"

He knows then that she'll understand his clothes when he tells her. His mandibles flicker with a smile and he finds the courage to continue in her eyes. He sweeps her into his arms and heads toward the airlock.

The entire bridge is watching them. Wondering what she'll do next. He doesn't notice, too busy watching her reaction. The blush creeping into her cheek, making her freckles more prominent. She notices though and tries to ignore all the eyes on them.

"What the hell Garrus. I…I have work to do." She squirms trying to extract herself from his arms. He simply holds her closer to him and keeps walking. "Put me down. Now." She finishes in her Commander Shepard voice.

"No."

Collective gasps travel through the bridge and Shepard's eyes widen. It's rare that anyone disobeys an order, especially when issued in that voice. But Garrus taking charge… Well that's… She squirms for a very different reason as her protests die on her lips.

"I'm seizing an opportunity here. I'll make it up to you later."

"What-" She begins and he cuts her off with a kiss.

Her body stiffens, but then she relaxes. Her hands fist in the front of his shirt. She leans into him, or as best she can from her current position in his arms. He carries her to the airlock.


	11. 33

**So I know in a previous chapter she died, but I just couldn't resist writing this. Plus I'm a sap for happy endings. This chapter is set post ME3.**

* * *

**33%**

She's happy, really she is. 100% happy…well maybe 67% happy and the other 33% of that happiness is tinged with nervousness. So alright it's not nerves its terror. The great Commander Shepard is absolutely terrified right now. She paces and fidgets, all the while taking deep breaths. She misses the familiar and comforting feel of her pistol at her hip. Liara had taken it from her, almost forcefully, and hidden it.

"Shepard calm down. Goddess you weren't even this nervous when we were going after the Reapers. You do want this, right?" Liara asks with a smile, already knowing the answer.

"How could you even ask that? Of course I want this. I love him. I just…" She gives a small frown, causing her nose to wrinkle. She gestures towards her dress, her white lacy wedding dress. "Why do I have to wear this? Why is this such a big deal for everybody else? I mean they wanted to televise the wedding for Christ's sake. It's bad enough there are reporters here. This is supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. Not media, death threats… If they try anything I won't be responsible for what I do." Her eyes get a dangerous glint. Then she shakes her head and continues her rant, plucking at her dress. "And itchy lace. Plus you took my gun." She crosses her arms and glares at Liara.

Liara bites her lip to keep from laughing at her indignant expression. "You're Commander Shepard, savior of the galaxy, of course they want to see the wedding. Plus with everything that happened people want to see there's still good in the world, they want to celebrate. And what better way than the wedding of their hero." She crosses the room and wraps an arm around Shepard's shoulders. "There is security at all the entrances and mingling with the guests. There are some of the toughest people in the galaxy here today and they're all your friends. Trust me if anyone is stupid enough to try anything you'll be lucky to even get a piece of them. Besides you're a biotic, that should be all the protection you'll need." She laughs, but stops when she sees the other woman's expression. "What's really bothering you?"

Shepard shrugs and starts pacing again. "After everything is it too much to ask to just be me. For one day I just want to be Alyssa and him to be Garrus. I want us to be two ordinary people who happen to be in love and this just happens to be their wedding day. I want the pressure to go away and for us to have that old cliché of saving the day and then heading off into the sunset. Then I feel guilty for wanting to run away, but I never wanted to be in the limelight like this. I never asked for it, but I never really did anything to dissuade it either." She sighs and looks at Liara and in this moment she's not Commander Shepard. She's Alyssa with a frightened look on her face. "I'm scared alright. It's always Garrus and Shepard. What if Alyssa isn't enough? What if after everything dies down and things are…normal, what if he's not happy? What if he regrets being with a human. What if he's in love with Commander Shepard, I don't want to be her anymore. I can't be her anymore."

"Well anyone who sees how he looks at you would never doubt that he loved you."

She jumps and whirls around to face him, her face turning blood red. He nods his thanks to Liara as she quietly exits the room. He slowly walks across the room and she stands there frozen like a deer in the headlights.

"You look beautiful." He says, cupping her cheek. Her blush deepens and the corner of her lip turns up in a small smile.

"You don't really think that do you? That I only love a part of you? The idea that I'd ever regret being with you…I can't even fathom. The only thing I regret is not telling you how I felt sooner. The day I met you my life changed, for the better. I love you Alyssa. Not some piece of you, but everything you are. And what you are is the most amazing person I've ever met and spending the rest of my life with you…" He kisses her and pulls away resting his forehead against hers. "Well that's something I'm looking forward to."

"Really? You won't wake up one day and look at your life and realize you could have had it different. You could have had a wife that wouldn't cause an incident because you married her. You could have had kids. You could have-"

He kisses her again. "Will you regret being with me?"

"No," she says emphatically. "We're the only I've ever been completely sure of."

And of that she's 100% sure.


	12. Dead Wrong

**Dead Wrong**

There's a clash followed by Shepard's voice, "Son of a-"

Garrus walks into the kitchen and fights back a laugh when he sees her with the edge of her palm in her mouth, glaring at a pan on the floor. "Did you burn yourself?" He holds off saying again when she turns her glare on him.

"Why does it have to be so hot to prepare dextro food?" She nudges the pan with the toe of her shoe. "This was your desert."

He steps over the mess on the floor and takes her hand. "Here let me see." He turns her hand and sees a red welt on the edge of her palm. He winces knowing how much a burn hurts him and thinking it must be worse for her because her skin isn't as protective. He kisses the welt and she smiles at him. "Better?" he asks.

She nods and carefully picks up the pan and tosses it in the sink where it lands with a satisfying clang. He cleans up the remains of what appeared to be a chocolate cake. She leans against the counter with her arms crossed and sighs. "I just wasn't paying attention and my hand went over the edge of the potholder. Besides I didn't do much cooking on the Normandy. I'm out of practice cooking…any food."

"You know you don't have to do this. I can just get food from one of the restaurants-"

He stops when she shoves her finger in his face. "If you think any husband of mine is going to get all his meals from a restaurant instead of having home cooked meals well then you're dead wrong."

He wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head. "I love you."

She hugs him back and smiles up at him. "I love you too. Now get out so I can make this casserole-y thing my bitch," she says jabbing her finger at the recipe on her datapad.

He leaves the kitchen with a chuckle as she begins to beat the ingredients into submission.


	13. Running Away

**And the fluff continues, I just love it so much. Gah!**

**Anyways thanks for the follows, favorites, and review on this. I love writing these and I'm glad that others enjoy them as well. :)**

* * *

**Running Away**

When the story of their engagement breaks he's resigned to it, really he's been waiting for it to happen. He knew they could only live in their own little bubble of existence for so long. They stare at the screen listening as people speculate about the wedding: what kind of flowers they'll have, where it will be, what she'll wear, what he'll wear, and on and on.

She's furious and starts pacing the room and yelling about it. Shouting how she wants their life –meaning Garrus and herself– and not their life –meaning others expectations of her and them as a couple. They both ignore the fact that most people would probably rather see her with another human, someone like Kaidan. She thought that with the threat of the Reapers finally over the galaxy would find something else to focus on. She's more than willing to fade into the background. To fade into normalcy and live a quiet life on one of the colonies maybe.

He knows there's more to it. That after everything she's tired of having everyone look to her to save them. She's tired of the stress. Not that she doesn't want to help people, but she wants to do it in a less publicized manner. Frankly he thinks she's right. She has given enough. This last time she almost gave everything, he was so close to losing her…again.

He also knows that in these moments she means it all, but later… Well if everything falls apart again she'll be there. She won't be able to turn a blind eye when there are people in trouble. It's simply not in her nature. If the need arises again she'll be there, maybe not as the Commander Shepard people expect. But she'll still give everything she has and he'll be right there with her.

She might want to escape from the persona of Commander Shepard and he gets that, but recognizes that Commander Shepard is a part of her. It makes her who she is, but he realizes unlike most people that it's not all she is. There is so much more to the savior of the galaxy than that.

Her name is Alyssa. She has freckles, curly red hair, and the brightest green eyes he's ever seen. She's ticklish and likes holding hands. She giggles. She doesn't know her family and lived on the streets. Sometimes she'll cry when they're watching vids or shows. She's afraid of bats. She has a longer fuse than people might expect, but when you piss her off she'll claw your eyes right out. She's fiercely loyal and fights for anything or anyone that she cares about. She can lead people into hell and they'll gladly follow her. She gets silly when she's tired. She's insanely stubborn and never gives up. Her favorite color is yellow; because it's bright, happy, and reminds her of the sun. She has nightmares and hogs the covers. She loves hamsters and cried each time one of them died, they had small services for them and gave them space burials. She likes old Big Band music like Frank Sinatra and at the end of the day she likes nothing more than turning on some music and dancing with Garrus, even though she can't dance.

He looks at her and reaches for her hand, giving it a slight tug so she'll sit on the bed next to him. He says, "Let's take a trip, just until things calm down. We'll just tell our friends so they won't worry."

She smiles for the first time that day since the story broke. "That sounds lovely."

* * *

That's how the two of them end up on a beach, just like they talked about. They lay on a large beach towel holding hands, propped up on their elbows watching the waves. A small breeze comes and lifts her hair off her shoulders, this is the first time he's seen her hair loose in the breeze and he's captivated by it. She wears a yellow bikini and he still can't understand the difference between it and her underwear other than the material is different. He wears yellow swim trunks to match, however his are covered in large orange flowers that she called hibiscus. She giggled when she saw them and he bought them for that simple purpose.

He leans over her and draws a heart in the sand, her hair tickles his face. He puts A&G in the middle. She draws little hearts around it and kisses him, her thumb stroking his scarred face. "Who knew that running away could be so nice."


	14. Judgment

**Judgment**

It's been a few weeks since Shepard returned to Earth and today the Alliance will finally pass judgment on her. He hasn't strayed very far from his room today. He nervously waits for her call to let him know what's happening as he curses the distance between them. Finally he hears the beep and he hurries over to answer. His breath catches when he sees her face, she's been crying. She's trying to hide it, but when he whispers her name the tears start to fall again.

"What happened?" he asks knowing it can't be good.

"They don't think it's a priority. Most of them still don't believe me. I'm still on lockdown…watch or whatever you want to call it. And umm…they revoked my status."

He feels a sinking feeling in his gut. "You mean your Spectre status?"

She shakes her head and stares at the desk for a moment. "No I mean everything." She angrily wipes her eyes. "God this is stupid. What bothers me most isn't that they don't believe me or if they do they don't see it as important. We're all screwed if it doesn't change and they start preparing. And here I am crying because they revoked my status. Since I turned eighteen the Alliance was all I had for so long. It saved me from the street…from myself. If Anderson hadn't found me I'd probably be dead or so far gone that I couldn't even wish for death."

They sit in silence, the only sound her fingers tapping on the desk. He sees her widen her eyes as she tries to stop the tears. He's not sure what to say. Their eyes meet across the screen.

"I miss you," she says. Her voice only betrays a note of the sorrow she's feeling.

"I wish I was there right now. I don't know what I'd say or even what to say now, but at least I could hold you."

Her watery smile makes his heart break. "Maybe since I'm no longer a soldier they'll let me leave."

He nods, "Maybe." He doesn't think they will and he's sure she doesn't think so either. "Where will you go?"

She puts her hand on the screen and says, "There's a certain Turian who has my heart. I think I'll go see him."

He puts his hand on the screen over hers. "He's the luckiest person in the galaxy."


	15. Seeking Solace

**Seeking Solace**

She's just finishing changing into her pajamas when the door beeps and slides open. She jumps, but then a smile forms on her lips when she remembers she gave Garrus full access to her cabin.

She turns to him and says, "Hey roomie." She's startled when she sees how out of sorts he is. His blue eyes are dull, mandibles practically drooping, his posture slumped, and he's pale. She didn't even know Turians could go pale. He's sweating and she knows he's been trying to work off whatever this is. Her smile fades as she asks, "What's wrong?"

He waves her off and mutters, "Nothing." He heads into the bathroom and she can hear the shower turn on.

"Don't believe you," she calls and starts to walk into the bathroom. The door slides shut in her face, she blinks at it for a moment. "Edi open this door."

"Don't do it Edi. Shepard everything's fine."

"You just locked yourself in the bathroom so I find that hard to believe."

The door slides open and she makes a mental note to thank Edi for not asking question. She walks in and leans against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest and a foot against the wall behind her. After he takes off his shirt he looks at her, everything about him practically shouting to back off. Instead she glares right back and says, "You can't lie to me Vakarian."

"I'm not lying. Everything's fine," he hisses.

"You know that's really convincing when you say it like that."

He turns from her and starts fiddling with the water adjustment. Maybe she ought to leave it alone, but she can't. There's something going on.

"Look I've seen you…agitated before, but I've never seen you like this."

"Dammit," he says punching the wall. "There's nothing I can do. There's nothing you can do."

"I can listen." She crosses the short distance between them and wraps her arms around him. She rests her cheek against his back. "I can hold you like you do for me. And even though it seems like the world is falling apart you make it better."

He swallows and covers her small hand with his own. "I had finally started making amends with my family. We could be in the same room without arguing, for a few hours at least." He sighs and she plants a kiss on his shoulder. "They've started lists for Palaven. One list for those found alive and another for those found dead." He turns and leans against the wall, pulling her against him.

"Your Father and Sister…are they on one of the lists?"

"No, but you saw Palaven. The dead list is far larger than the found alive. It's just a matter of time and each passing day increases the likelihood that they'll be on that list."

"No it doesn't. There's always hope and you can't give up until you have proof. Plus if they're anything like you, well I'd think that would double or even triple their chances. You're strong, deadly, resourceful, handsome, and have an incredibly sexy voice. Though I suppose those last two really don't count, but they should always be mentioned."

His mandibles twitch. "Well not everyone is as easily impressed as you."

"Well then I suppose that's a lucky break for you." She kisses his cheek. "I'll let you get cleaned up."

She leaves the bathroom and after his shower he comes out to find her in her…their bed. She's leaning against the headboard with her knees pulled up and a book propped on them. She looks up and smiles at him.

"Hey since we'll be at the Citadel tomorrow you want to catch a movie? My treat."

"Only fair since I took care of our first date. Well first official date."

She laughs and he sits on the bed next to her and looks at her for a moment. She doesn't say anything, just waits for him to say what's on his mind.

"I…ummm, well I think I'll take you up on your offer."

She looks confused for a moment and then realizes what he means. She sets her book aside and scoots down in the bed, then pulls him to her. His head lies on her chest and they don't speak. It's just the sounds of the ship, their breaths, and the sound of her heartbeat. He closes his eyes as he finds solace in her arms.


	16. Excuses

**Excuses**

She's been awake for a few hours and when she looks over at the alarm clock she sighs, time to get up. She sets about extracting herself from the arms of her sleeping husband. A smile curves her lips at this, they've been married a little over two years now and the thought of him being her husband still makes her giddy. His arms tighten around her as he pulls her back against his chest.

"And where are you going?" he asks kissing on her shoulder.

She rolls over to face him and after she's settled he tightens his arms once more. "I have to go meet with Hackett." She makes no move to get up however.

"Yes I suppose we can't keep making excuses by saying you're sick, I'm sick, and last time I believe you said the cat was sick." His mandibles twitch in the Turian equivalent of a grin as she nods." Our little secret won't be a secret much longer, you're starting to show." His hand drifts down to rest on her slightly protruding stomach.

She smiles and covers his hand with her own. "I think Hackett already knows."

"Hmm what gave it away?"

"Oh probably the day I ran out of his office about five times with my hand clamped over my mouth and didn't seem to be concerned over it."

"Could be."

Hackett had been worried enough to call him down to his office so he could bring her home. When he got there he was relieved to see it was just another bout of morning sickness, a rather serious bout that had her sprawled on Hackett's couch while he paced nervously. Of course when he realized just how awful she felt he wanted to start pacing with Hackett. She allowed herself to be picked up and carried to their car and that terrified him.

He smiles and she lightly punches him in the arm. He feels guilty for it, but he can't help it. That day was the first day it truly hit home for him, that she was having their baby. That was the day he finally let himself believe that it would all work out.

"You know it's probably safe to start telling people. There haven't really been any complications well other than the extreme morning sickness. Though some women have that even with…"

"Normal non-experimental pregnancies." He finishes for her. "You're past the first trimester too and at the last check-up Chakwas gave us the all clear. So maybe one more excuse today and this weekend we'll make the announcement. Let's take one more day just for us."

She stares into his blue eyes and sighs. "You know I'm screwed if the kid has your eyes. I can't deny those baby blues anything." She kisses him before making the call to Hackett.

As she talks to Hackett and they reschedule the meeting he slips down lower and pushes up the hem of her tank top before planting a kiss on her stomach. After she finishes talking with Hackett she smiles down at him with heavy lidded eyes. He watches her struggle to keep her eyes open before he pulls her shirt back down and moves to lie next to her again. He brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and asks, "Will you do me a favor?"

She yawns, "Hmm?"

Yesterday was one of the bad days. She had been sick a few times and then tossed and turned last night. He knows she woke up early, but at least she hasn't been sick this morning. "Take a nap. I'll go do the dishes and fix breakfast."

He watches as she wavers with the decision. Her desire to insist she can take care of things like always is outweighed by her tiredness. "Alright. Besides I suppose I should get used to stuff like this now. Later I probably won't even be able to put on shoes without your help."

He laughs and kisses her on the nose. "I love you."

She cups his cheek. "Love you too."

He gets out of bed and wanders into the kitchen barefoot and in his pajamas, hoping she'll be able to get some sleep.

She snuggles back under the covers and puts a hand over her stomach. Her fingers idly stroking the beginnings of her bump and she wishes she could talk to Mordin. It's because of him that it's possible for her and Garrus to have a child together. He started working on this while he was still on the Normandy and finished it up while working on the cure for the Genophage. He ended up creating some type of injection that would allow two species to procreate. He warned her that she'd be sick as her body adjusted not only pregnancy, but new DNA and chemicals as well. He guaranteed them it would work. At first she was the only one who believed him. Garrus and Chakwas were a little more skeptical and she kept telling them to have faith. If Mordin guaranteed something then it would happen.

She didn't even know he was working on this and never got to think him for it. He had told her where to find the data and a set of injections for herself and Garrus and then he stepped into the elevator talking about seashells. It killed her that her friend who was arguably one of the most brilliant minds of this century wanted something so simple as to study seashells and that he never got the chance. She would have liked to take him to a beach and watch as he marveled over the delicate shells. She won't let herself cry over this again, she knows Mordin would want them to celebrate his life and victories. And he had victories, but what did you expect from a Salarian scientist who as Kelly said was like a hamster on coffee. She drifts to sleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

Garrus walks back into their bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed next to her. "Rise and shine beautiful."

She makes a little 'humph' noise at his words as she stretches and blinks the sleep out of her eyes.

"What?" he asks kissing her palm.

"I don't feel beautiful." He opens his mouth to reply but she keeps going. "I'm wearing pajamas, my hairs a mess, I need a shower, I feel hungry and nauseous at the same time, and I'm getting fat."

He fights back a laugh until her indignant expression at his amusement sends him over the edge. He covers it with a cough. "Alyssa you're pregnant." She shrugs as if that doesn't affect her list of grievances. "You are and will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me."

She snorts, "Flatterer," as a small blush seeps into her cheeks.

"It's not flattery if it's the truth." He places a talon on her lips before she can offer any more rebuttals, while wondering if this is the beginning of the mood swings everyone warned him about.


	17. Vengeance

**Vengeance**

_When Shepard went through the beam his heart went with her along with his hopes. There was no way they were going to be lucky again and have her come back again. No evil organization –though he can't think of Cerberus as evil, questionable sure, but never evil they brought Shepard back- to find her body and channel countless resources and funds to bring her back. But there was no way he could stop himself from believing she'd come back either. Shepard routinely did the impossible so making it through another near death experience was right on par for her. _

_He did the only thing he could do, which was to shoot everything that moved. He was good at that. He took stupid risks because he couldn't get it out of his head that maybe just maybe if enough Reapers died it would attract that thing just long enough for her to do what needed to be done. Maybe just maybe it would give her the chance to escape. _

_There was another explosion and everything stopped, even the ash floating through the air seemed to pause. The beam lit up and seemed to draw in on itself before bursting. A blinding light swept the battlefield. Then one by one the Reapers just started dropping and it was quiet as they looked at each other. Then weapons fell and cheers erupted and Garrus was calling the past and present crew of the Normandy while running towards where the beam had been. He truly didn't expect to find her alive, but this time he wouldn't believe she was truly gone until he saw her…body._

* * *

The crew meets where the beam was and sits up a private comm channel. Their eyes reflect the same emotions shock, pride, pain, and hope. Hope that they all think will be dashed, but they're not giving up. She never gave up on them.

While searching they find a few soldiers, some dead and some alive. They call for medical and then reluctantly call the rest of the crew to say it wasn't her.

Garrus pauses for a moment to look at the aftermath. He's walking over piles of rubble and the thought that she could be buried under it all won't leave. They could literally pass right over her and not know it. They're using sensors to detect life signs, but the signal isn't steady. He tries to tamp down the panic, because that won't help her now. They keep searching even as the sun fades and it strikes him that this is the first time he's seen a sunset on Earth. She told him once that sunsets were the thing she missed most about Earth. To see a myriad of colors paint themselves across the darkening sky in bursts of light, signaling the passing of another day and that you were still alive.

It's beautiful, bright, and unexpected just like her. In that moment he knows they'll find her alive…they have to. Then he'll watch the sunset with her. He'll hold her and feel the steady rise and fall of her chest. They'll both be alive and he'll watch her watching the sky, because she outshines the sun.

He freezes when he hears it, a low moan. He waits silently begging for the sound one more time so he can get a better fix on where it's coming from. He hears it again off to his right and he scurries over. He red hair catches the last of the fading light and he drops to his knees beside her.

"Alyssa?" He touches her cheek and gives a cry of relief when she slowly opens her eyes to look at him. He calls the crew and they call medical and he turns all his attention back to her. A piece of rubble is pinning her to the ground and there's no way he can move it on his own. Even if he could he wouldn't for fear of injuring her further. Her left arm lies at an awkward angle and she's bleeding. But she's breathing. Shallow breathes and she winces, but she's alive.

"Now we're…even." The corner of her mouth quirks up in a smile.

"What?"

She points to him. "Missile to face…scared me…thought you…were…dead." She points to herself. "Damn Reaper…beam…explosion thing…to…well everywhere."

He gives a choked laugh and doesn't say that really they're not even. There was that time after they fought Saren. Then the Geth attack, though maybe that first time doesn't count since she really did die and he only had to deal with her loss and not the worry. Though the loss nearly killed him.

He kisses her hand. "So this is some kind of twisted Vengeance?" She nods. "Alright so we're even now. Maybe a bit of overkill though, leave the drama of explosions to Vega."

She gives a weak laugh and winces. "Fuck…don't make…me laugh. Ribs." She blinks at him and squeezes his hand. "Love you."

"I love you too." He looks up and can see the crew rushing over. He waves an arm and Wrex waves back. When he looks back to Shepard her eyes are fluttering like they do when she's trying to stay awake. He takes her face between his hands. "Hey stay with me. You have to stay awake."

"'K." She widens her eyes and it would be funny if she wasn't fighting to stay conscious.

He searches for something to say, to keep her talking. Something for her to focus on, but will also keep her calm. Well as calm as she can be given the circumstances. Something happy. "So who's going to be your maid-of-honor?"

"What?"

"At our wedding. You have quite a few friends who will want that honor."

A weak smile curves her lips. "We're…getting married?"

"Yes. Try to act surprised when I propose later."

"Alright." Liara is the first to reach them and she kneels down on Shepard's left side. She checks for a pulse and does a quick scan. Shepard looks over at her. "Hey."

"Hello Shepard. I'm glad you're still with us." She gently touches the other woman's cheek and holds back all the words she wants to say. There will be time for that later and it's up to them to make sure they get that time. "Garrus we're going to move this off of her. Keep her talking."

He nods and Liara stands up. The crew looks at Shepard with relief and worry in their eyes, but they turn their attention to Kaidan and Liara when they start talking about the best way to move the rubble, while waiting for the med team. Garrus keeps talking to Shepard about their wedding, beaches, and sunsets. Each blink is longer than the last and he looks up at the others, "She's not going to be able to stay conscious much longer."

Kaidan looks at him and nods. He scans the area and breathes a sigh of relief when he sees the med team hurrying over. "Right so we'll lift on the count of three. Biotics let's use controlled lifts to make this easier."

Everyone agrees, they gather around and probably have more people than they actually need. But that doesn't matter they just want to move this off her as quickly and gently as possible. When the Biotics flare Shepard's unconsciously flare up in response. He sees the decision flicker in her eyes as she decides to try to help.

"Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has another order for you. Don't try to help."

Her laugh sounds more like a wheeze. "Said…don't make…me laugh."

* * *

After extensive emergency surgery and quite a bit of pain medication she's finally awake. Not drifting in and out of consciousness like she has been for the last few days, but actually awake. Awake enough to take his hand and smile at him as he carefully settles himself on the bed next to her. She gingerly settles back against him and relaxes in his arms. He swallows unable to find the words to say how it feels to simply hold her. To know that they're still alive and the galaxy is once again safe...at least for the moment.

They turn to watch the sunset through the window just like they wanted, just like they talked about. Just as he thought he watches her watching the sky. A content look on her face as the corner of her mouth twitches up into a smile. She squints against the sunlight and it catches her hair, almost seeming to flicker like flames. Pink and orange drift across the darkening sky and he pulls her closer. She covers his hand with one of her own and looks up at him.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

"It pales in comparison to you." She blushes and he catches her smiling lips in a kiss.

They'll have other sunsets, but none will be as beautiful as this. This is the sunset that signals the end of another day. Telling them that she's alive and he's alive. The first sunset they've seen together…or at least the first one she's conscious enough to remember, but they can only look at each other while the fading sun warms their skin.


	18. Love

**Love**

It's Valentine's Day and Shepard has called a brief shore leave, to give the crew a chance to celebrate. To take the night off and spend time with that special someone or to find someone to get some stress relief with. Perhaps to test reach and flexibility.

For Shepard and Garrus it's their first Valentine's Day and both are nervous as to what the night will bring. He's not really familiar with the holiday and she's never really celebrated it. Sure she's dated before, but nothing ever too serious. What with being in the Alliance and _The Commander Shepard, _well that kind of puts a damper on your love life.

_She hadn't even planned on Valentines, but a few weeks ago on the Citadel Garrus saw ads for Valentines gifts. Apparently not even the threat of a Reaper invasion and the recent attack on the Citadel will stop people from trying to make money._

_He looked it up to see what the holiday was all about and thought it sounded fun. So he bought her a gift and made dinner reservations. He said he had to go pick up her gift and they agreed to meet at the restaurant. Leaving her stressing out in the cabin worrying about her presents for him that aren't technically presents. When she finally left she couldn't stop thinking about what happened last time she went out for dinner, which only served to make her more nervous. _

_As she waited in the Normandy's airlock all she could hope was that this dinner won't involve her falling through a fish tank. _

* * *

When she gets to the restaurant the host recognizes her, staring in that awestruck manner people tend to have around her. Then looked absolutely shocked when he realized she was here to meet a Turian. Her nerves were shot and she was pissed off enough with his behavior that she decided have a little fun. She smiles sweetly at him, murmuring her thanks before heading to the indicated table where Garrus waits for her. Once there she looks back to make sure the host is still watching before leaning down to kiss Garrus soundly on the mouth. She sits down with a satisfied smirk as the flustered host pretends he wasn't watching. He follows her gaze and chuckles before turning his attention back to her.

"So you're wearing that dress again. How am I supposed to make it through dinner when you look more delicious than the food?" He leans back looking smug as a blush fills her cheeks. "Been practicing my banter."

"Oh well you'll just have to try." She rubs his thigh under the table. "You're looking quite delectable yourself in your little suit. It's putting ideas in my head, like getting dessert to go. Something chocolate that I can lick off with my tongue."

Now it's her turn to smile smugly as he squirms uncomfortably in his seat. She looks at the menu as they both attempt to regain their composure.

After they order and agree to save the banter for in private he asks, "So you want your gift now?"

"If you want, though yours is at the apartment. Figured it would cause something of a disturbance if I gave it to you in the restaurant."

"You're such a tease." His care free voice is belied by the nervous look in his eyes he sits a small box on the table with a red ribbon tied around it.

She unties the ribbon while he fidgets in his seat. She opens the box to find a golden heart shaped locket with _A&G_ carved in flowing script. "Open it," he whispers. She does and finds a picture of them Edi took at the party on the left side- his arms wrapped around her and she's leaning back against him, her hands covering his. On the right side it says, _When love walked in with you_.

"Garrus," she breathes looking up to meet his eyes.

"When I met you for the first time I knew you were something special. I knew that my life would never be the same. Then we danced to this song, you stepped on my foot and I realized that I loved you. Had loved you for some time in fact." He cups her cheek. "Now even if I'm not with you you'll have a little reminder of me. Of us. I love you."

"I love you too."

She leans forward to kiss him and he meets her. It's a light, chaste kiss, but it makes both of them blush. She looks up at him through her lashes and hands him the locket. "Put it on for me?" She turns around and lifts her hair. He struggles a bit with the tiny clasp, glad he asked them to show him how to work it when he picked up the necklace earlier. He plants a kiss on the curve where neck meets shoulder before pulling away.

"Well what do you know it fits."

* * *

Once they're back at the apartment and settled on the couch she smiles at him. "So you technically have two presents. One you get to unwrap and the other is more of…well a gesture I suppose."

"I'm intrigued." He pulls her closer and she curls against him glad this gives her an excuse not to meet his eyes. This is the part she's been nervous about. She's never had this discussion with anyone and doesn't plan to again. He's it for her. She doesn't want to admit it but she's scared with this war. Not scared of dying, that's the easy part. No she's scared of leaving him. She doesn't want to leave him, but she already got her second chance with him and she doubts there will be a third. A chance to just be them and do normal things like move in, get married, and argue over paint colors. That doesn't mean she's not going to try and fight tooth and nail to make it back to his arms, but until then she figures it couldn't hurt to try to act normally. To go about their business as if they truly have a future. To have that belief and these feelings to hold on to as she does what she must to win this war. Besides she has a funny knack for surviving near death experiences.

"So I've been thinking about what you were doing at the party. You know trying to install explosives and sniper stands in my apartment."

"Yes and I believe you agreed to indulge your crazy boyfriend who isn't willing to accept fine is good enough for the love of his life."

"Yes so I was thinking what better way to set your mind at ease than to _install_ Archangel in my apartment." She waits for his response, turning her head just enough to look at him.

"Just so we're clear here, you are asking me to move in right?"

"Yeah unless you know another Archangel."

He chuckles. "Well there's only on Archangel and he says yes." His arm tightens around her, pulling her to sit in his lap.

She smiles. "Good so what should our first act be as an officially living together couple?"

"Well we should get some curtains or blinds or something. Those windows are dangerous anyone could just look in." She rolls her eyes. "But let's see for now..." He stands and sits her on the floor, holding up a talon. He walks over and fiddles with the stereo control until he finds the song he's looking for. Frank Sinatra's voice fills the space singing the song _Love Walked In_. "Try not to step on me this time." She rolls her eyes at him. He walks back, takes her hand and they begin to twirl around the room.

"So you do more than just the Tango?"

"Yep, but it's still better when you try it in bed."

"Hmmm." She lays a hand on his chest as the song ends and walks him backward until he bumps into the couch. He sits down and reaches for her. "Eager aren't we. Wait right here and I'll go get your other present. No peeking." She gives him a long, deep kiss that leaves him panting before she turns and slowly climbs the stairs.

* * *

She reappears at the top of the stairs and clears her throat. He looks up, his mandibles rapidly flickering at the sight of her in an enticingly short black silk robe that moves with each step as she descends the stairs. Red stilettos make her legs seem impossibly long and add an extra sashay to her steps.

When she's standing in front of him again he asks, "Yeah this would definitely have caused a disturbance. So are you wearing anything under this?" His hands start on her waist and slide down to rest on her hips.

"Why don't you find out?"

His hands move to untie the robe and slide it off her shoulders. She trembles as the tips of his talons slide down her arms. He drops the robe and it pools at her feet, leaving her standing there wearing red silk panties covered by a see through black lace negligée. A bit of black silk at the top cups her breasts, hiding them from view.

He groans as she straddles his lap and eagerly helps as she pulls off his shirt. He slides his hands up her thighs to trace the edges of her panties her breath catches when he slips a talon under the band. She leans in and traces the edge of a mandible with her tongue. "Alyssa," he breathes her name like a plea as she gently nibbles at the tip of his mandible, her fingers stroking the sensitive skin behind it. His hands tighten on her hips, pulling her closer as he shivers. She turns her attentions to his other mandible and slowly begins to rock her hips against him. The new and surprisingly pleasant feeling of lace against his skin is his breaking point and a whimper escapes.

She pulls back with a smirk. "Enjoying yourself?" His mouth opens and closes trying to form words. He finally nods and squirms under her hips, still keeping their agonizingly slow rhythm. "Good. Take off your pants."

Her hips stop as she rises up on her knees and helps him take off his pants, they drop them to the floor. He grabs her hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing her palm before trailing his tongue along her inner wrist and nipping at her pulse. She settles back down and rocks against him, a little faster now. Her hands locked on his shoulders. Her breathing becomes just as rapid as his as he brings a hand up to tease her nipple through the silk. He starts nibbling along her collar bone, a little rougher than normal and she can feel the tips of his teeth pricking at her skin. The thought that she'll have his marks tomorrow makes her groan.

"Now you," he growls after a particularly sharp nip.

She raises her arms and he eases the lace up, making sure his talons trail along her body. She quivers against him and he tosses the negligée behind him. He nuzzles her breast, hands once again locked on her waist. She moans and arches her back. He slowly drags a rough tongue along her nipple, then turns to show the same attention to her other breast.

Their eyes lock as he slips a talon back into her panties. He delights in the small whimpering noise she makes as he turns his talons to the material and even though he keeps them dull he adds enough force behind his movements to rip the silk. He pulls the silk remnants from between them and tosses them on the floor and moans when he feels her moist heat against him. Now clad only in stilettos and the locket he gave her she meets his eyes and rises up to slowly lower herself onto him. She starts shaking as she fights to keep her movements slow, to draw out the moment. With a growl he jerks his hips up to meet hers.

"Garrus," his name rips from her throat in ragged moan.

They stop moving and savor the moment. Flesh on flesh, the feeling of him buried deep inside her, intermingling breaths, and hearts keeping time. In an unspoken agreement they start moving at the same time. Slowly at first, but rapidly picking up the pace. He kisses her and meets each roll of her hips with a thrust.

For once neither makes an effort to quiet their voices as their apartment is the only one on the floor. Besides their long past the point of caring that anyone will hear. They grow louder as they drive each other to the edge. A noise somewhere between a moan and a cry escape her lips out as she falls over the edge and he follows with a strangled sound of his own. She collapses against him, resting her forehead against his. They smile as they both tremble in the aftermath.

"Wow," he whispers, cupping her cheek.

She leans into his touch and says with a breathy laugh, "That's an understatement."

"Yeah sorry about…umm…tearing off your...panties."

She giggles as he cheeks darken with a blush. "I liked it." She kisses him as he traces abstract designs on her back. "You know if we're going to do this again we probably should get curtains or something."

"Oh we're definitely doing this again. I'm rigging that glass with explosives too."

"Fine just connect it to the alarm that I'm still not sure if you did or didn't install."

"Remember the code?"

"I heart Garrus."

"Correct. Oh and that's in all Caps."

* * *

**The engraving on the locket is a line from the Frank Sinatra song they dance to later- 'Love Walked In'. **


End file.
